Revenge Is Sweet
by MRegent.2 and Pangie
Summary: In this sequel to The Sugar Famine, L takes his revenge on- I mean, helps Light through his problem with his sugar deficiency. Unfortunately, Light doesn't see it that way...
1. Light Doesn't Love Sugar

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

The Sugar Famine: Revenge Is Sweet

Chapter One

Light Doesn't Love Sugar

Light turn and ran. Unfortunately he only got about two steps before L's feet crashed into his back.

"Oh, no, Light-kun," L protested in his monotone. Light thought he heard, through the monotone, an edge of smug delight. "Running away never solves anything."

"It does when there's an insane insomniac detective trying to force-feed you sugar!" cried Light, slightly muffled as his face was pressed into the ground. He twitched. He now knew the true meaning of fear. L had been chasing him around the building for ten minutes. Light had been running away instead of fighting because L was waving around a sugar cube in a maniacally happy manner which made him very, very scared. He wanted to be nowhere near him. There had even been an incredibly pathetic two minutes where they had chased each other around a table.

But that wasn't the worst part.

No, the part which had caused Light to turn and run had been when Watari wheeled a hard-looking cake with 'Light Loves Sugar' written on it in pink icing.

That was why he had been running towards the nearest window.

So he could jump.

They were on the tenth floor.

"Insane? I don't know what you mean, Light-kun," L said innocently, still with that horrifyingly happy undertone. "I don't think you seem to realise that you were running towards an open window. That's dangerous."

"That's the point."

"What was that, Light-kun? The floor seemed to get in the way of your mouth." L let him lift his head.

"I said GET OFF MY BACK! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK IT!"

"But then you would run away..."

"Also the point."

"...And, as you seem to have developed a dangerous window-fetish since you have been diagnosed with not having enough sugar in you blood, that would be bad. But I know the cure for that."

Light got a bad feeling.

It proved prophetic as L's hand appeared. He saw a giant slice of the hard-looking cake.

"Open up, Light-kun."

L began mashing the slice of cake into Light's face as Light screamed. Light managed to turn his face away so he had a large streak of cake on his cheek. _Better than in my mouth,_ he thought to himself. And he had been right about the cake looking hard. He swore it almost drew blood!

"AAAAAAAAH! WHAT'S _IN _THAT THING!" he screamed. L saw his chance and, quick as possible, stuffed the whole slice into Light's mouth.

"It is seventy-five percent sugar. That's what's in this. And it's called a cake, not a thing," L said, oblivious to Light being unable to breathe due to the fact that L held his nose shut. "I had one left over from a few weeks ago." L paused before carrying on, ignoring Light's growing colour. "Don't worry, it's still fresh. I think." Ignoring Light's reddening face, L carried on. "I asked Watari to decorate it for you. By the way, you not wanting to eat this cake has increased you likelihood of being Kira by eighty percent."

Matsuda, who had walked into the room, looked surprised. "Really?"

"Oh, yes. Now it's a hundred percent sure Light is Kira."

"But...I thought you only suspected him a little before."

"Oh, no. He's definitely Kira."

Matsuda processed this. He glanced at Light. "Um...Ryuzaki? Light is going blue."

L checked. "Hm. So he is. That increases his likelihood of being Kira by twenty percent."

"But..."

"So now I'm a hundred and twenty percent sure Light-kun is Kira."

Matsuda nodded gloomily. "I'll tell the chief." He left the room. A minute later, Soichiro and the rest of the taskforce came back in.

"Ryuzaki, Matsuda says..." began the chief. Then he saw the sitation. "Ryuzaki," he began again, knowing he had to remain calm. "Would you please get off my son?"

L did. Light didn't move.

"Is he dead?" asked Matsuda.

"Probably," L said. He didn't sound like he had a problem with it. The detective rolled Light over.

Light opened his eyes, which, by then, were practically bulging out of their sockets, and spat the entire contents of his mouth out at Ryuzaki.

*****

"Ryuzaki," sighed Soichiro. "You can't do things like that. You could have killed Light. And just because he doesn't like sugar doesn't mean he's Kira."

"I knew he couldn't be!" cheered Matsuda. Light and L were in the bathroom beside them, L in the doorway. Light was scrubbing his mouth out with tooth paste and L was there to make sure he didn't, in L's own words, "try something stupid". L let the door swing shut and stepped closer to Light.

"Light-kun," began L as he, now wearing a new change of clothes, watched Light frantically brushing out his entire mouth. "You do overreact. That increases-"

"If you try to relate this back to me being Kira," Light said, pointing his toothbrush at L. "I will jam this toothbrush where the sun doesn't shine."

L wiped his face. "Have you never heard the term 'say it, don't spray it'?" He had been looking at Light's toothbrush in a speculative manner. "Why are you so concerned with dental care today?"

Light spat, picked up the almost used-up toothpaste, and squirted the rest of it's contents into his mouth. "I'm trying to get the disgusting taste of sugar out of my mouth."

"Blasphemy."

Light used his toothbrush to gesture at the detective again. "You are crazy. You could have killed me with that mouldy thing!"

L's eyes flickered to a spot over Light's shoulder. "Like that mouldy thing there?"

Light looked over his shoulder but all he could see was white tiles.

While he was looking L, lightning fast, took out a shaker full of sugar and sprinkled Light's toothbrush with it. He put it back into his pocket.

Light looked back at him suspiciously. "There's nothing there."

"Hm? So there isn't. There aren't any windows in here, so I think you will be safe. I have something urgent that needs my attention." L said before leaving. Light was still looking at the shutting door suspiciously when he put the toothbrush back into his mouth.

*****

The taskforce, who were seating right outside the bathroom, paused when L came out.

"Ryu-" began Aizawa.

"Must go," L said shortly before speeding off faster than his weak-looking, hunched over body seemed to be able to go.

"What was that about?" asked Mogi.

They all leaped to their feet when an anguished, furious scream came from the bathroom.

"RYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Oh, boy," Soichiro said as he hid his face in his hands.

**Author's Note-**

**M'kay, so this is the sequel series to 'The Sugar Famine'.**

**I hope you like it!**

**Peace and Love,**

**-XOX, Pange**


	2. Hide and Seek

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of it's associated fictional characters or locations.

**Revenge is Sweet**

**Chapter Two**

**Hide and Seek**

Light was hiding. Normally that would be beneath his dignity but, as he had discovered, nothing was beneath your dignity when you had a SUGAR-OBSESSED MANIAC trying to FORCE-FEED YOU SUGAR!

Which also explained _why _Light was hiding. As a matter of fact, Light had been hiding for a while. Not in that particular place, but everywhere. He had hid when he ate (not sugar or anything remotely sweet). He had hid when he thought. He had even hid while he slept.

But that last one hadn't worked out so well as he had hoped. He had been woken up by some funny sounds and had opened his eyes to see a maniacally happy L holding one of his _disgusting _cakes in one hand (which were less cakes and more solidified sugar) and a strange contraption in the other which looked to be some sort of medieval torture device.

"Argh!" Light had screamed, jumping out from his hiding place, which happened to be inside of a closet. Which meant that, when Light had jumped out, he had had to first head-butt L to get him out of the way.

Light didn't have much of a problem with this.

"You know, Light-kun," began L from the ground and Light ran to the doorway. "Your instinctual violence and obvious anger management issues increase your likelihood of being Kira by-"

By this time Light had run out of the room.

"One thousand percent,," finished L as Matsuda and Aizawa walked into the room.

"Excuse me, Ryuzaki," Matsuda began. "We just saw Light running down the hallway like he was being chased by the fiery demons of hell. What's going on?"

L tried to resume an innocent expression which, considering that he was still on the floor holding cake and what looked like a torture device, made him look rather a lot like an insane serial killer. "Only that I'm trying to help Light-kun to overcome his irrational fear of sugar."

Matsuda looked at the pseudo-torture device. He looked at the solid-sugar 'cake'. He wisely said, "of course you are."

Aizawa cleared his throat and asked L, "Ryuzaki, don't you think you're taking this a little too far?"

L smiled. Matsuda wanted to cry. "I will only take it too far when I have not taken it far enough."

"...What?" asked Matsuda. L picked himself up, carefully holding the cake, slung the pseudo-torture device over his shoulder and patted Matsuda's head.

"Think about it," he told the confused man before walking out of the room.

Matsuda looked at Aizawa. "So what does it mean?"

"That Light is in trouble."

The other man mused Aizawa's words. "Should we do anything?"

"Do you want to attract the new-found wrath of a sugar-addicted insomniac detective with issues who has discovered a capacity for revenge, the horrifyingly sweet likes of which have never been seen before?"

"...Point. SO we just stay out of their way?"

Now Aizawa patted Matsuda on the head. "You're learning."

"Stop that."

Aizawa stopped.

*****

Light ran through the hallway, going for the exit. Then he heard something which sent shivers down his spine.

"Li-ight," L sang over the PA system, one which Light had not been aware of, making his name two syllables. "I have some high-sugar-content cake for you!"

Light continued running.

"And, if you're looking for the exit, I've got them all sealed."

Light stopped running. "L, this is crazy!"

"Crazy is not liking sugar. Therefore, you are crazy. Therefore, you are Kira."

"...you know that doesn't actually make any sort of sense whatsoever."

"The cake will make _everything _make sense."

"That really is not very reassuring," commented Light darkly as he forged forward. He found a series of lockers and slipped into one. He waited for a few minutes, trying to sort out his thoughts. L had said that the exits were sealed but, at that moment, Light was perfectly willing to go break that seal. He had to get to an exit and see what he could do.

This wasn't very good logic but Light's logical abilities were slightly diminished by the fear of the insomniac sugar-wielding detective who was currently trying to catch Light.

Light slipped out of his hiding place, thinking carefully. He plotted out his route in his mind, thinking to go through all the small, little-used corridors. He set out on his path, hoping against hope that the detective wouldn't figure out what he was doing.

Light rounded a corner and cursed inwardly. He smiled a completely false smile. "Hello, Matsuda."

Matsuda was looking a combination of embarrassed and guilty. "Hi...Light...Um, sorry, but Ryuzaki says that we aren't supposed to let you through."

"'We' meaning who?"

"...No-one," denied Matsuda guiltily.

Light gave him a look.

"Okay, so it's pretty much everyone. But I'm not supposed to tell you that, so don't say I told you."

"Of course I won't, Matsuda," Light said soothingly. "How about you just let me through."

"Light..." groaned Matsuda. "You know I can't do that. Please just come on, and let me take you back to Ryuzaki!"

Light sighed, the struggle seeming to go out of his limbs. "I'm sorry. You have nothing to do with this. I'll come with you."

The other looked up hopefully. "Really, Light? You rally mean it?"

"Sure," Light smiled. "I mean, Ryuzaki probably won't hurt me or anything. I'm just...Not used to eating sweet stuff, I guess."

Matsuda grinned. "It's okay, Light, we'll all help you through this!"

"Well...I may need you to," the younger boy told him.

"It's okay, Light,." Matsuda grinned as he walked in the hallway he was supposed to be guarding. "We'll be right there to -hey!" Matsuda crashed to the ground as ropes shot out from the walls and subdued him. "W-what's going on?"

"Like I thought, Ryuzaki set some traps for me," Light mused aloud.

"Uh, Light...Would you please help me out of this?"

"Sorry, Matsuda," apologised Light. "But I can't trust you not to go get Ryuzaki."

"But...You can't just leave me like this!"

"Sorry, Matsuda. Someone should let you out in an hour or so!"

"But...Wait, Light!" But Light had vanished around the next corner. "Light?" Silence was the reply. Matsuda sighed. "Why does this always happen to _me_?"

*****

Aizawa was next. Light paused when he heard footsteps and recognised Aizawa's brisk, efficient step. Aizawa was talking on a mobile. "No, he hasn't shown up...Yes, I'm checking the corridor now, Chief."

Light retreated back to the corner he had been about to step out from. Aizawa walked passed his hiding place, his back to Light. Light stepped out and silently sprinted down the corridor, on his toes to ensure his step was silent, and thankful his shoes had no rubber sole to squeak. He made it around the corner of the next corridor, thinking.

_L has already set one trap for me. I should expect more. Logic dictates that the severity of the trap will keep increasing as I go on. The last one subdued...I guess the next step is to try and knock me out, but surely not even L_-

Al this was thought of in the second it took to trigger the trap. A tranquilliser dart was fired from the opposite wall. Light's thoughts and his reaction speed combined to make him duck moments before the dart fired.

_L would knock me out for not eating sugar...that's quite sad. This is supposedly one of the most brilliant minds in existence._

He had listened closely for the sharp sound of a metal dart meeting the wall but heard nothing except Aizawa's footsteps. Light froze. A moment later Aizawa stepped past him, his back to Light because Light had hid n the opposite side of the corner than before. He switched sides again when he was sure Aizawa wouldn't see him. Aizawa muttered. "Yes, Ryuzaki, I'm patrolling like you said."

Light looked at the spot his head had previously been in, confused. There was nothing there. A thought struck him and, with delicate fingers, he reached up ad into his own hair. His fingers encountered something artificial. He pulled out the dart.

_Close call_, he thought to himself. He waited until it was safe to go before darting down the corridor again. It was a larger one than the others, which was probably why Aizawa was asked to patrol it. When Light emerged from the other side he ducked down to avoid the incoming dart. This time it made a slight noise as it hit the wall, but Aizawa was on the other side of the corridor and didn't hear it. Light picked up the tranquilliser and slipped it into his pocket so that Aizawa wouldn't spot it. He continued down the hallway.

_First step, subdue me. Second step, knock me out. Third step...kill me_? thought Light as he ran silently. _Surely not..._

"Ryuzaki, I am _not _firing tranquilliser darts at my son for refusing to eat sweets," protested the voice of Light's father, apparently having a conversation with L. "In the interest of Light?! These are _horse tranquillisers._ What do you mean, _you just wanted to be sure_?"

_Third step, kill me_, confirmed Light glumly.

"By the way, Ryuzaki," Mr Yagami said, sounding like he had something on his mind. "You said that you, me, Matsuda and Aizawa would work together to find Light...What about Mogi?" For a moment there was silence before Mr Yagami yelled, "_what do you mean he's stuck in the elevator_!?"

*****

"Hello, Ryuzaki?" called Mogi wearily. "I've been in here for half an hour now...I don't know what the problem is but could you let me out of here? Ryuzaki? Hello?"

*****

"You can't just..._leave _him there, it's completely irresponsible," vehemently protested Mr Yagami. "Ryuzaki, listen...I understand that you and Light are...excited by recent events, but don't you think you've both gotten a little too...It's gotten a bit...I think my son and you..." He sighed. "Ryuzaki, I'm forced to come out an say it. _You've both gone completely insane_! First you and Light kept assaulting each other enough, then when the tables turned you began trying to assault each other some more by in new, inventive ways and now Mogi is _trapped in an elevator_. Oh, and one more thing; _just because he doesn't wan to eat sweet things doesn't make him Kira_!"

There was s brief silence before Mr Yagami sighed again. "After we've found Light I don't want any more of this...Thank you, Ryuzaki." There was a beep which signalled the end of the phone conversation and then nothing. Light thought. His father was an intelligent, competent police officer with much experience. So how could he move him out of the way so he would be able to find a way to escape?

Light thought.

He thought some more.

Then he came up with a plan.

*****

Matsuda was lying miserably on the ground, wondering when someone, anyone, would come by and let him out, when a shadow fell over him. He looked up and smiled.

"Light! You came back!" he rejoiced. "I knew I could count on you."

The expression on Light's face made him stop. "Sorry about this, Matsuda," apologised the boy before stabbing Matsuda with the tranquilliser dart. Matsuda lost conciousness and Light picked him up, took him to the edge of the front entrance. His father was staying in one spot, which Light had deduced from the occasional squeak of an office chair. This meant there were probably traps at his side of the front entrance. He needed a way to negate the traps, which meant he needed a way to make his father de-activate them. Ergo, he needed a reason for his father to go to his side of the entrance.

Ergo, Matsuda. Light slung Matsuda in place at the stairs at nudged him with his toe. Matsuda stayed unconscious. Light nodded in approval before taking out a box of matches and lighting one, shading the flame with his body.

He then set Matsuda on fire.

The older man wouldn't come to any harm. Light didn't think so anyway. He had only lit the rope tying up Matsuda, and there was a heck of a lot of that. Light tried to fan the smoke towards his father so he would notice it earlier.

A little while later, but enough time to worry Light, Mr Yagami sat up. "Is that...smoke?" he muttered. Light darted out of sight and listened for the tap of a keyboard or the click of a button which would tell him what kind of code he needed to crack. Instead he heard, "Matsuda!? Matsuda, can you hear me?" followed by hurried footsteps.

Then came a series of odd noises which sounded vaguely mechanic. There were no more footsteps. Light poked his head out from the corner and gaped.

Apparently his father had not known about the traps after all.

*****

"Ryuzaki?" winged an extremely bored Mogi. "I have the serious suspicions that I'm going to grow a beard before you let me out."

Silence.

Mogi sighed.

*****

Light did the obvious thing and put out the fire he'd lit on Matsuda. After all, he didn't want to burn the poor man.

Mind you, rolling him over to put out the fire and stomping on him a few times probably wasn't too good for him either...But, to give Light credit, there were no burns on Matsuda afterwards.

Light did the _other _obvious thing and went to check if his father was still alive. Apparently Ryuzaki hadn't deemed telling Mr Yagami about the traps beneficial for their mission. Light's father was now still in a large metal cage.

"This is ridiculous," muttered Light as he walked up to his father. "Dad?" No response. He looked closer as he walked all around his father, trying to rouse him. Eventually he spotted a little dart in Mr Yagami's arm and another in his neck. Light really hoped they weren't the aforementioned horse tranquillisers but, seeing as his father wasn't obviously in any immediate danger and he, on the other hand, probably _was_, Light walked away from his unconscious father and examined his exit points.

The entrance to the elevator was off limits. Light had decided on the way there that he wasn't going to risk L redirecting the elevator once he was inside so he immediately examined his other options.

There were two staircases, one on either side of the elevator. Both were sealed. Light stepped up to the doors and examined the seal, thinking that if they were sealed electronically he would be able to open them, but apparently L had foreseen this and not only had sealed both electronically, with special locks requiring a code, but had also _nailed _the damn things shut.

So that was his second choice for an exit gone.

Light looked about him frantically, his eyes glancing over everything in the room...And finally alighting on the ventilation shafts.

_That could work_, he thought to himself. _But I'd need something to loosen the bolts with_...

He turned out his pockets. He did a mental inventory. He had nothing, _nothing _that could be used. He checked the time absent-mindedly, largely out of habit.

And remembered his watch.

*****

A while after L had last had contact with Mr Yagami he checked the time. It had been a good half hour. Mogi had been moaning some more, but L just pretended e couldn't hear him through the speakers. He decided it was about time he checked in on everyone. He tried to contact Mr Yagami.

"Yagami, has anything happened?" asked L in his usual monotone.

Silence.

"Yagami, this is Ryuzaki, do you hear me?"

More silence.

L tried Matsuda. "Matsuda, this is Ryuzaki."

Silence.

L tried a few more times but there was nothing. He finally contacted Aizawa.

"Aizawa, can you hear me?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki, I can hear you fine," answered a confused Aizawa.

"Good. I need you to check in on Matsuda and Yagami."

"Oh...Okay then."

A few minutes later...

"Ryuzaki, are you there?"

"Yes. Did you find them?"

"...Ryuzaki, you'd better check this out."

*****

Matsuda had been fairly easy to untie, as his ropes had mostly been burnt through. Aizawa slapped him gently a few times and the other man woke.

"Mmm...No, don't want to get up, mum..."

"Matsuda, wake up."

"...Don't want to go to school..."

"Matsuda, you idiot, wake up!" snapped Aizawa. Matsuda awoke.

"Huh? Aizawa...Ryuzaki? What..." His eyes widened with the memory. "He left me there! He made me set of the trap and left me there! And,,,Stabbed me...With a tranquilliser!"

"I'm sure he did," said Aizawa soothingly. "Ryuzaki, have you managed to disable the trap yet?" After all this was done, Aizawa was panning on having a chat to 'Ryuzaki' about his use of traps on members of the task force.

"I have, yes," Ryuzaki murmured, pressing a few keys. The steal cage ascended, leaving Mr Yagami free but unconscious. L stood back while Aizawa and Matsuda tried to awaken him a few times to no avail.

"What exactly was in those darts?"

"Which darts?" asked L innocently.

"The ones you tried to shoot Light with?"

"Oh, them...In the ones received by Matsuda was a fairly mild sedative."

"But what about the Chief?" asked Matsuda. "It's almost like he was knocked out with horse tranquillisers."

L was silent.

"Ryuzaki," Aizawa said warningly. "Please tell me you didn't..."

"Didn't what, Aizawa? You really must be more specific about these things.

He pointed at Mr Yagami. "Please tell me you didn't use horse tranquillisers in those darts."

L looked at him innocently. "So you want me to lie?"

"Argh!" exclaimed Aizawa angrily. "You can't do that!"

"I suggest we focus more on Light than his father. After all, Mr Yagami is fairly safe-"

Matsuda and Aizawa began to splutter. L ignored them.

"-But his son is lost."

This stopped them. They looked around. "He could be anywhere by now," moaned Matsuda.

"No, I have an idea where he is," murmured L. When the other two looked at him the hunched-back detective rose an arm to point at a spot above the door to the staircases, above a chair which had been slid there.

They gasped.

"But...Weren't those nailed shut?" inquired a confounded Matsuda.

"Obviously not any more," L noted as he tilted his head on it's side a little. He grinned.

"Is something funny?" asked Aizawa in frustration.

L grinned a cocky grin and looked at him. "The hunt, Aizawa. The hunt is on."

**Author's Note-**

**Howdy, all. A little reminder that reviews are always welcome.**

**Peace and Love,**

**-XOX, Pangie**


	3. How It Ended

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of its associated fictional characters and locations.

**Author's Note- I am incredibly sorry about leaving this for so long. I apologise if this is of a lesser quality than the last few, but the goal for this chapter is to finish the damn fic. Keeping that in mind, I have tried my best to make it worth your time.**

**Thankyou for everyone who have waited so very long.**

**Peace and Love,**

**-XOX, Pangie**

Revenge is Sweet

How it Ended

The air ducts were cramped, but damn it, there was no way Light was coming out. Scary things were outside the air duct, bad things like insomniac detectives who wanted to (twitchy eye) shove sugar-filled items down your throat at every opportunity.

Which was why Light was content in the air ducts. He was seriously considering it making it his home. But, then again, if he did that then he would always be faced with the idea that L was somewhere in the general vicinity…Lurking around the corner…Waiting…Watching for him to slip up…So he could sneak up on him and shove RANDOM SUGAR-FILLED ITEMS THAT MAY NOT EVEN BE THE SLIGHTEST BIT EDIBLE DOWN HIS THROAT!

L, the so-called genius detective (twitchy eye) didn't seem to realise (twitchy eye) that JUST BECAUSE YOU SPRINKLE SUGAR ON SOMETHING (twitchy eye twitchy eye) DOESN'T MEAN IT'S EVEN REMOTELY DIGESTABLE! (twitchy eye twitchy eye TWITCHY EYE).

Light had to get out. It was clear his sanity was in peril.

At least he had been able to escape from L's various traps. Using various parts of his watch to open the ventilation ducts had been smart, but meant that his special watch was now, effectively, dead.

Light crawled his way through the restrictive air duct, crawling towards the exit.

*****

"Haha. Ha. Hahaha. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" laughed L.

Aizawa gave the detective an odd look. "Uh…Ryuzaki?"

"HA! Yes, Aizawa?" L said in a completely serious tone before promptly reassuming his mad cackling.

"Don't you, uh…I mean…Well…"

"Oh, yes the hunt is on," giggled L. "And when we catch him, my pretty sugar, we will eat him, yes, EAT him because he will be so very sweet and swee and !"

"My god, he's insane," Aizawa realised with horror. It was a fact of which he had been suspicious of for a while. "He is complete and totally _bonkers_."

"He's not the only one," Matsuda said, overhearing Aizawa's private but verbalised realisation. "It's just Ryuzaki that's lost it. Light's gone too. They're both barmy. But I must say, I think Light, if you placed them on an insane-O meter, would trump L."

"Light would trump L!" exclaimed L, this little wording finding it's way through the veil of barminess. "What is this blasphemy!?"

"Only in the respect that, though you're both completely and utterly bonkers, balmy, nuts, crazy, insane, whacko, have lost it, and if there are any other descriptions of the depths the both of you have sunk to, you're those as well, he's a _little_ higher on the insane-o meter than you," Matsuda hissed.

Aizawa patted Matsuda gently. "This is a sensitive issue, isn't it?"

Matsuda began crying. "yes!" After a while he stopped. "But do you know why it's such a sensitive issue? Why Ryuzaki is only a little below Light when it comes to the levels of insanity they have reached? It's because of the small fact that while you, L, may have COMPLETELY lost all vestiges of sanity, you didn't STAB a co-worker with TRANQUILISER, tie them up and then SET THEM ON FIRE before proceeding to put out set fire by BEATING THAT PERSON UP!" Matsuda panted for a little while.

L couldn't find anything to say to that other than, "he's Kira, you know."

"I don't care!" exclaimed Matsuda. "he could be Santa for all I care and I would still shoot him with sugar-laced sedatives and dance around him humming the Mexican hat dance!"

L's mind processed this as, "so, you're on my side, then? The sugar side?"

"_I don't care_ about sides!"

"This side is the one that's going to hunt down light Yagami."

"I'm in, where do I sign up? As long as I can pop his ass I am IN!"

"And together we shall dance over the corpse of Light Yagami!" L proclaimed, bursting into insane laughter again.

"While humming the Mexican hat dance!" proclaimed Matsuda, joining L in the scary laughter.

Aizawa stared. It was lonely being the only sane one in the room. He heard some groaning and saw that the Chief, who they'd released, was finally awake.

He crept over to him. "Chief? Are you okay?"

"HAT DANCE!"

"LIGHT, EAT THAT SUGAR!"

This, more than anything else, woke Mr Yagami. "What on Earth?"

"Don't ask," Aizawa warned. "Please don't ask. If you do, you might be driven insane too. And then I would be all alone with three crazy people, and then I would become a crazy person."

Gingerly, Yagami patted Aizawa on the shoulder. "It's okay. I'm sure it isn't that bad…"

Then he saw the scene beyond him, which consisted of L and Matsuda dancing around each other, screaming about what they were going to do to Light when they found him. He tried to find something, anything to say to it, but eventually had to stick with, "I was wrong. It's that bad."

Aizawa nodded miserably. "I was worried you'd say that."

*****

Light crawled through the air vents, panting in his effort to get out. He was nearing the exit now, coming all the closer to that wonderful freedom-

And then he found the seal. It was nailed on, another grate which shouldn't have been there. It was L. As Light found out as he circumvented the rest of the air vents, it hadn't only been the one part of the ventilation system which had been sealed. L had fanatically sealed every. Single. One.

Light's eye twitched.

After an hour or so of finding this out many times over but continuing on in the hope that there was one L had missed, Light spent another few minutes thinking up several choice words which suited L. Many of them would have caused his teachers to give him detention, and had he dared to verbalise some of his more creative ones, it may have possibly earned him a short suspension.

Then he heard a mournful voice calling, "Ryuzaki? Are you even listening? Is anyone?"

"Mogi?" Light said, surprised.

After a pause," Light?!"

"Mogi, keep speaking, I'll follow your voice," Light called.

"Oh…Okay," Mogi replied uncertainly. "Um, can you tell me what's going on? I'm stuck in an elevator...I've been stuck here for four hours now. I've tried calling Ryuzaki, but he doesn't seem to have heard me…Or maybe he's ignoring me. I don't know why he would do that. But after being stuck here for _four hours_ I'm willing to consider any possibility."

By this time Light had managed to make his way to the opening to the elevator. He managed to find his way inside, thankful that L hadn't been able to seal that off at least.

Mogi looked at him in complete surprise. "You…You're here. Another person. Other people _actually_ exist. I'm not the only one in the world." He shook his head. "Sorry, I just…Was stuck here. Alone. For so long."

"I know you're pain," acknowledged Light. "We have both been wronged by the demon."

"…The what now?"

"Demon. It became clear to me while I was crawling through the ventilation shaft. Ryuzaki is a _demon_. That's why he's so smart. That's why he's so devilish. He is a demon."

"…Right," Mogi nodded, trying to figure out how he tactfully question Light as to whether he'd been doing any illegal substances as of late. Or maybe there was something in the ventilation shaft which drove them all crazy… which reminded him. "By the way, why were you in the ventilation shaft? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not really a normal past time. "

"Oh, yes, I'll tell you all about it," promised Light before commencing to tell Mogi all about what had happened recently, pushing his point home that L was obviously, first and foremost, a demon. Mogi watched, occasionally nodding. It was odd. Light seemed to be sane. Then you heard what he was saying…

"…which is why Ryuzaki is a demon," finished Light triumphantly.

"I…see," Mogi said carefully.

"Which is also why we should escape here now while we have the chance." Very seriously, he stood and held out a hand. "Will you come with me to escape the demon that is Ryuzaki?"

It was Mogi's only option for escape. L had proven that he didn't particularly care about Mogi, which annoyed him. So it was partly revenge for his complete abandonment and partly out of genuine concern that Light would do something to harm himself that he took Light's hand, and let the boy lead him out of the elevator.

*****

"And together," ranted L, somehow having managed to get his hands on two sheets so that he and Matsuda were able to wrap them around themselves like a toga. "We will rule the Kira free world, for all will bow before us!"

He had even straightened from his customary hunch. That was how Yagami knew something was seriously, seriously wrong.

"And everyone will do the Mexican hat dance!" Matsuda completely agreed, his toga slipping slightly. L was still wearing clothes under his, but Matsuda had, for some reason, decided that the hunt for Light required that he take off his pants. Yagami was thankful he at least kept his underwear.

"Matsuda!" barked the Chief. There was at least one thing he could do. It wasn't much, but it would make him feel a little better. "Put on some pants, man!"

"Ah, but pants will only inhibit the hunt for the evil Light, who is Kira!"

"My son is not Kira," Yagami told them.

"Yes he is," L refuted in completely reasonable tones. "I'm a sugarzillion percent sure."

"That isn't a number."

"It has the word 'sugar' in it. It doesn't need to be a number."

Matsuda gasped, pointed at the Chief in horror. "He is the father of Kira!"

L gasped too. "He is against sugar"

Yagami looked at him blankly for a moment before saying, in a completely serious tone, "if you try to knock me out with horse tranquilisers again, I will shoot you."

"The father of Kira would not dare!" cried Matsuda.

"The father of Kira is trying, very hard, not to shoot you as it is…And my son isn't Kira!" He exclaimed as an afterthought.

"He admitted it," pointed out Matsuda. "Therefore his son is definitely Kira, with sugar on top!"

"It's the sugar which counts," nodded L.

"Can we just go home now?" asked a now depressed Aizawa.

"Aizawa, why are you in the corner?" asked Matsuda innocently.

"Yes, Aizawa, come out of the corner, and join with us! Become a part of the sugar revolution!" L called to Aizawa.

"Yes, Aizawa, be one of us!"

"Your afro will contribute in our effort to stamp out Kira!"

"That," Aizawa said, pointing at L and Matsuda. "Is why I am in the corner."

"Is it time, Ryuzaki?" asked Matsuda. For a moment he seemed completely sane, asking a normal question.

"Yes, I think it is," L agreed in his regular monotone, as if he weren't standing in a toga and hadn't just proclaimed the hunt for a teenage boy.

While Matsuda and L walked over to the console, Aizawa and Yagami traded uncertain glances. Neither of them knew what was happening, but a sinking feeling in the gut of both men proclaimed that it would not be a good thing.

When he reached the console L threw back his hand dramatically. "And now, I shall stomp out the scourge of Kira once and for all!"

"Once and for all!" echoed Matsuda.

L pressed a single button.

"Ryuzaki?" asked Yagami quietly. "I'm going to ask this once and I want a straight and preferably sane answer. _What did you just do_?"

"I may or may not have just activated a certain security measure I put in a while ago which ensures that tonnes of water will soon be rushing through the ventilation system."

*****

Light and Mogi crawled through the ventilation shaft until they reached one of the exits to the outside world. Mogi gave Light an odd look but gave it to him when light said he could use it to free them. Light began working on the screw that imprisoned them. He had gotten his abilities to make lock picks and pseudo-screwdrivers from watches form a period in his youth where he became exceptionally bored one school break and decided to see how many different ways he could pick a lock, then it grew from there until he became a relative expert and escaping any situation using nothing more than an ordinary watch.

Or, considering his watch, not so ordinary.

He had almost managed to get the seal open when a curious rushing noise reached their ears. It almost sounded like water…

*****

"You did _what_?!"

"We're going to flush them out!" cheered Matsuda happily.

"Exactly," agreed L simply.

"I'm not even going to point out that this would be classified as murder by anyone with half a brain," began Yagami reasonably, his tone becoming angrier and angrier. "Not am I going to point out that you trying to DROWN my son really isn't a very smart move for the world's greatest detective, if you're trying to pin him for the charges of being Kira. No, instead I am going to take this chance to point at that the ventilation shafts are meant to ventilate air and therefore lead to every room in this building which also means that any water you pump into them, you also pump through the whole building. Meaning that-"

"YOU BASTARD!" screamed Aizawa. "You're going to drown us all!"

L seemed to finally realise this. He put his thumb to his lips and said, "oh, yes…I hadn't thought of that."

They heard the rushing of water. L unblocked all the exits and they began to run.

*****

"No…" moaned Mogi. "Surely not. Ryuzaki is reasonable. He's smart. He wouldn't flood the building."

Light, however, had a far more accurate opinion. "The crazy demon is trying to drown us. I suggest we get the hell out of here." With that, he victoriously managed to kick out the seal to the ventilation shaft.

They both exited, emerging onto the staircase. They were very much surprised to be joined by L, Aizawa, Matsuda and Chief Yagami. For a moment they all looked at each other.

Then water began spilling down the stair case and Yagami screamed, "RUN!"

They did. They ran down the stair case, water cascading after them. It caught up with them as they neared the exit, pushing them out on a flood of water.

It was raining outside. The rain felt almost polite to the flood which had pushed them there.

For a long moment they all lay on the ground, half-drowned rats lying in the rain. People gave them odd looks as they passed in cars.

Surprisingly, Mogi was the one who started it. He leapt to his feet and screamed, "RYUZAKI YOU IDIOT!"

"Huh?" replied L.

"Huh?" said Matsuda at the same time, confused that Ryuzaki's name was where, surely, his should have been. "Do you mean me, Mogi?"

"NO, I do not mean you. I mean _him_!" Mogi yelled, pointing at L. "You complete _moron_. You almost drowned us all! And for what? To make sure a bratty teenage boy eats his damn sugar? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!"

While Light considered whether to be offended or not by this, L looked at Mogi blandly. "Ah, I see Kira has influenced you. Fear not, Mogi, we will rid your mind of his sour influence!"

"NO! I don't want you _near_ my mind. In fact, I think Light is right! Screw sanity, you're a demon! _A demon_, I say!"

"I did tell you," smiled Light smugly.

"Kira has spread his influence!" yelled L. "Come, Matsuda! We must defeat them!"

"Yes, Ryuzaki, let's stomp them to the dust," agreed Matsuda.

Aizawa and Chief Yagami stared as the fight of the century began there in the rain, before the flooded building. L and Light went at each other, L with his advanced fighting techniques and Light with bare physical prowess. Matsuda and Mogi began kind of slapping at each other futilely, neither of them really making any headway.

"Didn't they both go through police training?" questioned Aizawa, staring.

"Yes," replied the Chief, also staring. "It seems they forgotten."

"Take this, demon," light cried as he punched L.

"Eat sugar!" yelled L as he dodged it and tried to feed Light sugar. But he had forgotten about the rain. It had dissolved his secret stash of sugar. He glared at Light. "You did this!"

"It was the rain, and that flood you caused."

"YOU DID THIS, SUGAR-HATER!"

"What in the name of god is going on here?" cried a voice.

All four fighters and two spectators looked around to observe Watari looking at them with an expression of complete and total disbelief.

"Sanity!" cried Aizawa, immediately rushing to Watari's side.

"Watari, it is good to see you," Chief Yagami vastly, _vastly_ understated. "Where have you been?"

"The hospital summoned me. It seems there was another mistake."

Suddenly everyone froze and stared at Watari differently than they had been staring at him a moment ago. Six stares were completely and utterly expressionless as they looked at Watari.

"Go on, Watari," said L reasonably. Watari wondered why he was wearing a toga.

"Yes, Watari, go on," agreed Matsuda, also wearing a toga.

"I am interested to hear what they said," Light nodded.

"As am I," Mogi told the older man.

"What did they say?" asked Aizawa.

"You say they made a mistake?" inquired Chief Yagami.

Watari was suddenly very unnerved by the six faces looking at him expectantly. It didn't matter that they all seemed reasonable, there was something simmering beneath the surface. But he had to tell them what the hospital had said.

"It seems that there was a mistake. Not only did L never had a problem with his blood sugar levels, neither did Light. In fact, everyone was perfectly healthy. They send their…apologies." Watari began the falter. Everyone was in complete silence as they processed this.

The silence persisted. Watari was getting edgier.

Then it exploded. They all opened their mouths to say something, but before they could, something interrupted them.

Behind them was a huge cracking noise.

Slowly they all turned around to see the building come down behind them, somehow not managing to take down any of the buildings around it down at the same time. The whole thing, weighted down and damaged by the water, folded in on itself, leaving nothing but a huge pile of rubble and seven very surprised men staring at what had previously been their headquarters.

"Hm. It seems our headquarters have just come down," L commented after a pause.

"It does seem that way," agreed Light.

"Luckily, I have another few buildings which will serve us, just in case something like this happened."

"You're very organised," complimented Light. "What's this? Oh dear, my watch is broken."

"And so is mine," said Mogi lightly.

"I think the funds I have stored away will replace them," Light offered.

"How generous of you," Mogi commented.

"Yes, very," agreed Light.

"It's a pity. I liked the old headquarters," Matsuda mourned lightly.

"Yes, but all things come to an end," reasoned Aizawa.

"Even when it seems permanent," agreed Chief Yagami.

They all simultaneously looked at Watari, who could say nothing but, "yes, quite."

After that they moved to a new headquarters and never mentioned the incident again. It was a time they couldn't speak of, and the one time Watari had tried to breach the topic he had received nothing but cold glares and denials that such a thing had ever taken place.

Light and Mogi got new watches soon after. Light modified his in private.

Which was how the sugar famine and L's sweet revenge ended.

**Author's Note- in regards to that last line THANK F***ING GOD!**


End file.
